I moved her to a different school, where she was surrounded by cruel students and teachers. She began cutting herself and dealt with being bullied. I will say that in addition to a few things going on at home, my daughter’s jr high years were horrible. My younger one just informed she would be moving out this weekend and in with a man who is 33 and the other women who is there as well. Order it now on Amazon: Boy Mom: What Your Son Needs Most from YouĪND be sure to check out the BOY MOM PODCAST where I make it my goal to offer practical advice and Biblical wisdom for raising boys in this often crazy world! Find it wherever you listen to podcasts!ġ,3 and 5 are the points that represent me, our family and home life. If you enjoyed this article, you will want to get your hands on my new book, Boy Mom: What your son needs most from you. We all benefit from hearing each other’s stories and I hope you leave here encouraged! If you have anything to add, or want to share which of the 7 pitfalls above hits closest to home, I’d love to hear from you in comments. Keep pressing on and it will pay off for the rest of your life! It really is possible to maintain a great relationship with your teens, even as they are growing in independence. Give them some time, and be sincere in the ways you are working to parent better. Though they may not be as quick to forgive as they were in their younger years, most teens really do want a good relationship with their parents, and will forgive many mistakes in order to have one. Ask forgiveness and ask for a fresh start. When you realize you’ve been wrong, the best thing you can do is to go to your teen in humility and say so. They will lose respect for us, and begin to think of us as hypocrites. During the teen years our kids figure out that we too are imperfect humans, (bummer!) and we aren’t fooling them when we are too proud to admit we’ve been wrong. Whether it fits in one of the categories above, or anything else, perhaps the worst thing we can do is not own up to our mistakes.
Look at your teen and relate to your teen like an adult-in-the-making and they will respond most positively. It’s time to raise the bar, and inspire them to maturity. It’s time to quit talking down to them, calling them by their baby names, and (for the love–) cutting their meat.
So once our kids become teenagers, we need to adjust how we treat them…how we speak to them. Even if they still act childish at times (because they will) it is our job to encourage and call out the emerging adult inside of them. The more we make them feel respected and mature at home, the happier they’ll be there. Teenagers want to feel grown up, and they’ll usually gravitate to where they most feel that way. And the good news is– none of these are too hard to adjust, and a few small changes might make a world of difference!ġ. But are there some things we CAN DO…or perhaps CAN AVOID DOING…that might be pushing our teenagers away? ABSOLUTELY.īelow are seven common ways parents can push their teens away (without even knowing it). Are there a hundred factors that might be influencing this? Yes. But none of us want to see the child we love grow up to be a teen who isolates himself from his own family.Ĭould it be a stage? Yes. Most of us expect kids to become more independent during their teenage years, and we know that is a healthy thing. Growing cold in the very relationships that used to be warm and close. Isolating themselves and spending all of their time with friends or alone in their room.
The concern I hear most is related to teens pulling away from their family. And though every story is different, there are some common themes that show up over and over again. Since writing that post I have received hundreds, even thousands of emails and messages from readers. (And it’s a good thing because son #3 will become a teenager in a few short months…) I honestly couldn’t imagine a better experience raising teen boys than what we’re in the midst of now. It’s been two years since I wrote the post, “What a Teenage Boy Needs most from his Mom.” The two teens that I referred to in that post are now 15, and 17 years old, and I’m happy ( and relieved) to report: They’re still doing great.